is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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