I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
