Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Can I color on your dick again?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
