We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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