she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
