Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize