just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
