Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
