i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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