You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You've changed since you got that strap on
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
