i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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