So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
