I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
