Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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