Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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