well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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