A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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