What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
