i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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