yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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