I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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