Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
