I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
