I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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