May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
