Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
