And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
