Is it because I queefed?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
