My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is