i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
North Korea, Best Korea!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
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I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA