He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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