I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
