so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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