Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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