Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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