Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
