dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
