Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize