i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
