I could make wine with my vomit
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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