Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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