his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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