i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize