that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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i just made my gag reflex go away.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
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The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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