just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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