Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
