yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
