I looked at my own cervix.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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