Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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