what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
