Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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