'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
