I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
