Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
