Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
