I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
