just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
