I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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