i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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