Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Success! We fucked roommates!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
